Good day world! So after all of this time I can finally ask for the "check please"! I have been so cyber quiet (for me) because on my last birthday (Jan 16th 2013) my doctor had to tell me that I have stage IV breast cancer. Like anyone who may have to bear such news I was completely devastated. Stopped in my tracks is about the best I can do to describe it. My dear friend and manager held my hand and is at my side to take in every word that all 6 six doctors that have to treat me had to say.
The first plan of action that had to happen was to undergo a mastectomy on my left breast, followed by chemotherapy, followed by some amount of radiation, followed by reconstructive surgery. What realistically did (and is still on going) happen when after many many many many tests showed that the cancer was in my lymph nodes AND spread to my breast bone area ended up being a whole other nightmare. The new plan for me was to have 6 rounds of chemo then have a mastectomy, then radiation, then reconstructive surgery over a 9 to 12 month period.
I don't want to bore you or myself with all of the sorted details but both mentally and physically the life was drained out of me due to lots of red tape with insurance company issues and disability claims and crap along that nature. Then there was the fighting with my insurance company for getting a port inserted in me for easier accessibility for the many IV infusions. So many other co payments and battles lost along the way on top of not totally loosing it on my family due to the "roid rage" that was messing me up pretty good too. With all of those shenanigans finaically it's been quite the hairy situation too, so much that my friends and fam started an on line fund raiser for me (which was and still is a hard pill to swallow). Needing and asking for help sucks (but I got over it due to just knowing where everyone involved hearts are) Check it out if ya want , the link is
For Suki's story and details click here
I digress, .....the hair loss, 30 lb weight gain and having to wear a face mask outside of my home was all part of the program that I did not sign up for.
I can't even explain how I even have breast cancer because I am adopted with no family medical history, (even though I do have my biological brother - see pic). My fear of needles and having access to WAY TOO MUCH information on the Internet about my cancer did not help ease me into my life of seeing one of many doctors several times a week.
I sound like a lunatic as I am typing away today because I know that millions of women before me have had to go thru what I am going thru and probably did a lot less complaining about it. I am at the point where its coming up on about 30 days since I had a bilateral mastectomy performed by a team of doc's that worked on Angelina Jolie. I survived that ordeal and have 6 and half weeks of radiation coming up in a few weeks AND THEN hopefully I will be undergoing my last surgery for making me look like a normal chic again.
So clearly I am ready to talk about this ordeal because there have been lots of good that I am experiencing along the way .......... my last surgery was not only a success not just because I have a great team of surgeons on my side but also a success because I had my entourage of 8 plus family members and friends praying and partying in the waiting room at Cedar Sinai for 14 hours ready to see my puffy face after I came out of that last surgery. The whole time my son showed up like a champ and his strength proved to be so helpful for me. My friends made me laugh with contact thru face time, pics and stories of memories past. One of the greatest loves of my life shaved his head to try to make me feel comfortable in my skin. I get to experiment with crazy hair color where I would have never done so before seeing as I have so little of it now. Both my parents flew back and forth from NY and Florida when ever I cried out for them. I eat sooooooo much healthier now. I totality got to catch up on "Breaking Bad" and a ton of other shows. I even booked some television work with my alien head on the few good days where I talked myself into feeling up to it. I found a church to go to and learned how to accept my fate. I changed ......................... definitely for the better.
I am still fighting the good fight and will keep following the advice of my best friend who told me to "stay away from the light!" She and I may be the only ones to see the humor in that.
The point of today's entry is just to finally get it all out. I don't want to be like all "cancer lady" all the time on Facebook everyday but I do want to share some of my life in hopes that someone may be able to relate and to find my revelations helpful, maybe even useful!
Thank you for reading, listening and caring. xo